Tall check, dark chocolate skinned check, hairy masculine legs check, perfect teeth check, dress sense check. This are the things women look for in a man if not more. We have our wish lists of our ideal man but honestly speaking the isn’t such thing as a perfect guy.
If you’re clear from the beginning about what you want from a relationship and how you expect to be treated it would be easier for guys to know what kind of woman they are dealing with. 9/10 times in a relationship you find what you’re looking for from a guy but the missing 1 percent ends up being replaced by him not treating you like a queen that you are.
Spending excessive time on your check list will lead to you being single for a long time as your expectations are too high and ‘time waits for no man’. We long for the kind of man that doesn’t exist instead of working on what you do have. Further more if you are on that quest searching for Mr Perfect you need to ask yourself if you’re perfect yourself?
Do you honestly think you possess the qualities that comprises of a woman that every guy would like to be with? Give the poor guys a break, they are trying their best. A man cannot be defined by his looks but through his personality and level of commitment, love and respect he shows. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying having handsome/beautiful children doesn’t matter but we need to learn where to sacrifice as woman.
It’s important to compromise certain things in order to have a healthy and happy relationship. Men don’t usually respond to the dumb reason we give them as to why we can’t be with them. A male friend of mine once told me if you turn a guy down basing your reasons on his fashion sense he is likely to feel offended. More of his self esteem decreases.
When he get’s up in the morning and dresses he’s probably thinking ‘ngiya bangena’ but then he meets Fanisa with her ‘over-the-top’ analysis of guys. He ends up totally crushed meanwhile all he wanted was to know your name and perhaps have a simple conversation, hoping that perhaps if you meet again you can trust him with your digits.
As you can see guys confidence is squashed by little things. To them image means everything not that of the skhothane but that of being a man clothed neatly and handsomely.
Ladies it’s high time we burn those checklists and allow love to take charge, after all love is a superior emotion. Leave room for it as you will find Mr Right was just under your nose but you were stuck up in finding Mr Perfect, you lost sight of the ball and forfeited your chance of finding true love. The guy you saw at first glance that had no fashion senses if you had given him a chance, you could have transformed him.
Who knows maybe he could have grown to be the fashionista you desire and have always been searching for. Yet again stop putting unnecessary pressure on the poor guy, if its perfection that you want remember that it takes two to tango so rather work on improving yourself. We have come to the end of yet another Ladies Night Column, I hope it will impact your life positively. Follow @Fanisawrites on twitter thank you and God bless.
By: FANISILE NKUNA
Edited By: M.D.B