BOUNDARIES OF COMMUNICATION.

Sometimes as young people we come across difficult situations and we need help in order for us to be able to solve those problems. The question is how do we solve those problems? How do we deal with what ever situations we are up against? Do we talk things out or do we just let it go.

Sometimes when we have problems the only thing that can heal us is to talk with the people most close to us.  Most of us trust our parents completely, because they are the ones that understand us. They’re ones that protected us from the time we took our first step; to the moment we uttered our first word. It has always been their number one priority to protect us and keep us safe from what ever injustice the world has got to offer.

Now the problem is that no matter how hard we try, especially in our African culture it’s quite difficult for us to approach our parents and talk things out with them because of the way we were raised.

Majority of us were raised in families where kids are not allowed to question the authority of the parents or even comment on certain issues. We were always told that kids are kids and have no right what so ever to ask questions or comment on some things that are happening in our families.

Now this makes things difficult for us as we grow up because things and times are constantly ever changing and what ever perceptions or views we had in the past are no longer the same.

Now if there is no communication between parents and kids, a lot of things turn to go wrong.

We end up making mistakes that could have been avoided if we were able to speak to our parents and ask for advice. Some of us have not been guided on how to deal with personal issues such as relationships, pregnancy, and a whole lot of personal issues that we come across in our everyday life.

Some of us make mistakes because if we don’t have any one we can talk to about personal issues, we end looking up to our friends for what ever piece of advice they would give. And because our friends are also young, their piece of advice would be worth twenty cents even though there are some of them who would dish out the best advice. The best advice always ends up being rejected because if you have not experienced things it’s actually hard for you to believe or know which direction to take.

In African society, communication between parents and young people has always been difficult, but with the way things are at the moment, isnt it time we started communicating?

If I cannot talk to my mother or father about the things that really bother me, then who should i talk to?

Not everyone out there have your best interest at heart but one thing am sure of is that my parents regardless of every position would want the best for me. That kind of advice they would give is the advice that would lead you towards the light.

Lack of communication between parents and kids would result into hatred and some young people end up in big disastrous situations that they find hard to get out of because they are afraid to speak to thier parents and ask for help where needed.

But then how long should we be scared of communicating with our parents?

I think our parents have lived longer than us and that they have seen so many things happening in theIr lifetime. They have experienced a lot of difficult situations and they survived those situations, now if we can’t get advice from them who should be our advisers?

I think times have changed and it’s about time communication take place in our black families.

That’s the only way the youth would be able to be less stressed about day to day issues.

But one thing that we should know is that it takes some time for things to brew so we mustnt expect an overnight transformation. We must also remember that this communication thing might not be easy on our parents so we mustnt expect too much. The same difficulty a young person experience when having to talk personal issues out with the parents is still the same difficulty the parent experiences. So i suggest baby steps here, slowly but surely we will get there.

 

By: MPHO P. MAKHAFOLA (THE BLACK DIAMOND)

 

Edited By: M.D.B

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