To be in a relationship nowadays has become a challenge and it has become very expensive. This goes for both men and women. In order to be in a relationship at this day and age, as a man you are expected to have certain things. Money and a car have become one of the qualifications for a relationship.
With the rate of unemployment so high in our country, women have become victims of older men. They get themselves in relationships with these older men, popularly known as “Blessers”, hoping to find a conducive way of living. These men then offer them money and sometimes take advantage of them by dictating how these women must live their lives. They give these women what is known to many as “Girlfriend Allowance”. Girlfriend allowance is a sum of money that is given to a woman monthly by her boyfriend.
Giving your girlfriend a monthly allowance is a very nice gesture and cool, but one is not obliged to do so if they don’t feel like it. It shouldn’t be a relationship standard. Women must understand that not every man can afford to give their girlfriend a monthly allowance. They must understand that their boyfriends don’t not owe them the duty of gifting them money, just as they do not owe him the duty of cooking his meals or tidying up his apartment when they visit.
Men have also fell victims of older women referred to as “Sugar Mama’s”. These kind of women gun for young and vulnerable boys and shower them with gifts such as cars and expansive clothes. They end up taking over their lives as well, dictating how these boys must live their lives. There are relationship norms that can be demanded because one is entitled to them. Things such as time and affection. A monthly allowance, as nice as it is, isn’t one of them.
Many relationships have collapsed because people get into a relationship expecting something in return. People expect more than what they can give. Some of them expect expensive holidays that they can’t afford. That is the cause of higher divorce rate. People get married hoping that they will benefit from the marriage, only to find that there is nothing in the marriage rather than love and time.
A relationship doesn’t have to be expensive. It just needs commitment. Olden day’s relationships were simple and very cheap. That is the reason why they lasted for the longest time. For example: our grandparents would just go and sit next to a river bank rather than an expensive hotel. Eat home cooked meals and be ok. Nowadays people wants to be taken out on expensive restaurants, movies and expansive clothes.
A relationship can only survive if it is between two people who understands it. People must meet halfway in a relationship.
BY: ZANELE MAGAGULA.
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